James' worst memory
by AlyshaNemesis
Summary: James is in a really bad mood. He actually wants to commit suicide... What drove him this far? Can Remus and Sirius stop him? Rated T for language. Dialoguefic!


_Summary: Well, James is in a really bad mood... He actually wants to commit suicide. Can Sirius and Remus stop him? And what drove poor Prongsy this far? Read and you will see... +g+_

_Warnings: It's kinda Slash... But nothing more than snogging. Oh, and the language isn't that...sophisticated, if you know, what I mean... +lol+  
_

_A/N: I've written this short dialogue fic weeks ago and tried to find someone to read through it, sadly this has't worked so this is un-beta-d (or how do you say?)... Anyway, there might be some fatal errors in it for English isn't even my mother tongue... Feel free to correct if you'd like to... Okay... And I need a Beta for my english fics so if ou'd like to do that job, contact me in any way you might think of... Thanks a lot! _

_Okay Read and Review please! _ _You know, reviews make my day!_

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"Prongs, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm writing my farewell letter!"

"You...WHAT?"

"He's writing his farewell letter, Pads..."

"I perfectly understood this, thanks Moony. Hell, Prongs, why would you do that?"

"Because once I finished it, I'll go and throw myself from the top of the astronomy tower!"

"You're kidding, are you?"

"I'm serious!"

"You're James! I am Sirius!"

"Pads, joking about it won't do any good... James, honestly, why would you want to do that?"

"Because I...she...he... Damn, I gotta get that memory out of my mind! I wanna die!"

"James, what the hell happened to drive you this far?"

"I can't tell you! It's too embarrassing and too disgusting!"

"Tell me, now!"

"Moony, I won't! Now just let me go on writing!"

"James, honestly: If you can write it down you could as well tell us!"

"I'm not writing it down! Not THAT thing!"

"Then what ARE you writing in your farewell letter if not the reason for your stupid decision?"

"I write to Lily..."

"Oh, SHE may know, but we don't, do we?"

"Pads, he told us he's not writing down what caused this insanity of his!"

"Guys, would you please shut up? I don't want my last few moments to be spoiled with you two yelling at each other. Not after what just...happened!"

"Well, okay, James... If you must, we'll help you committing suicide. Stop looking at me like I'm mental, Pads! I'm not! Again, Prongs: We'll help you...but only if you tell us what happened and only if we can't persuade you to think it over again!"

"Do I have any choice?"

"NO!"

"Moony, I still don't want to help him..."

"Ah, shut up Pads! Now, Prongs: Tell us! What happened to make you behave that childishly? Did Lily turn you down again?"

"No! If it only was that! She didn't! She even snogged me! Well, at least, I thought so but then... Moooony, don't make me tell you, please! I'm still too shocked to fully realise!"

"Ha? She snogged you? And you think of killing yourself? Earth to James: Are you mad?"

"He certainly is, but that's not today's question... Prongs, again: What happened."

"She...it wasn't her...it was... I can't do this!"

"Hiding yourself under your bed won't help anyway, Prongsy!"

"I know, thanks so much for that idiotic comment!"

"Well, Prongs, maybe you should tell us right from the beginning and leave the...disgusting parts out for a start!"

"Okay...I tell you. Well, I was at the Quidditch pitch this afternoon, practising. When I changed, Lily came in and...at least I thought it was Lily... I'm gonna kill that wanker!"

"Calm down, Prongs. Go on just telling everything in a chronological order!"

"You know, Moony, if it was me trying to commit suicide and you talking to me like that I'd be probably dead before you even finished that sentence... Or, at least, you'll be!"

"That was really helpful, Pads. Certainly makes him feel better! Prongs, just go on please!"

"You guys aren't really helpful. Maybe I'd better kill myself immediately."

"SHUT UP AND GO ON TELLING US WHAT HAPPENED!

"How would that work?"

"I don't know, I... Gosh, you guys drive me crazy!"

"Me too."

"I'd better go and do it now..."

"Stop. It. Sit down, both of you! Pads, whatever you intend to do: Keep your mouth shut! And Prongs, just tell us what happened. NOW"

"Calm down, Moony...I'll tell you... Well, Lily...I mean the person I thought to be Lily, anyway, that person confessed their undying love to me and then we snogged and it was great and all that when suddenly... Suddenly..."

"Go on, James."

"I can't! It's too weird!"

"James Potter, NOW!"

"Snivellus..."

"What! Did he come in and caught you? Did he hex you?"

"Pads, I already told you to shut up!"

"Okay... Mum..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"You just called me 'mum'!"

"I didn't"

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I did not!"

"Yes, you..."

"Would the two of you shut up now before I'll have to kill both of you to die in peace?"

"Erm... Sorry..."

"You should be! Gosh, snogging Snivellus is nothing compared to being stuck with you in the same dormitory!"

"How could you know? You can't compare two situations when you haven't been in one of... Oh... Shit."

"Did I miss something?"

"I fear you did, Pads. Prongs, please, tell me that it is NOT true! Tell me that this is a horrible misunderstanding. Please!"

"Moony, believe me, I'm far more shocked than you are!"

"You didn't do that! You didn't do that! How could you snog Snivellus! Not even YOU are so insane, Prongs! How could you... Did he jinx you or something? How...I don't... That's not true, is it? Because that would be...That would be..."

"You're hyperventilating, Pads. Stop being so hysterical! I'm sure Prongs have a good explanation for it... You have, have you?"

"Well... I thought I snogged Lily...when in fact I was snogging the most detestable person in the whole castle! He kind of... Transfigured himself, I suppose... Only that I can't figure out how he did it!"

"Well, he's a genius at potions... James, have you ever heard of the 'polyjuice potion'?

"Yeah, but... Oh. Come to think about it, that explains everything."

"That bloody git..."

"Hold your tongue, Pads. It's James' problem!"

"Yes, it's mine! So, now that you know... May I please go on writing and then go ending this shattered life?"

"NO! It's not like it's THAT dramatic... I mean, you kissed the most horrible person in Hogwarts but it's nothing that can't be forgotten or something..."

"But I snogged a guy, Moony... A GUY! I'm not gay! I can't be! I love birds! And of all the boys it had to be Snivellus, to make things even worse!"

"Is it that bad to snog a guy?"

"Moony, are you mad? Of course it is! I can't stand it! I'll have that image pinned in my mind forever! A guy!"

"Um... Prongs? Would it be any better if Snivellus was a bird? Same stupid, horrible, disgusting person, but female?"

"'Course it would! I'd rather prefer to have snogged McGonagall than any guy, handsome and nice as he might be!"

"James, you sound like a homophobic now!"

"Well, yeah, maybe I am! But that doesn't matter any more as I'll be dead in no time so I'll never again have to recall that horrible, damn disgusting image! So go out of the way, I'm gonna jump right now! Forget about that stupid farewell letter! She'd probably have never read it anyway!"

"Moony... Do something!"

"I guess I should..."

"What the hell... Okay, that was too much! Far too much! I can't stand this! What... What are you guys doing? STOP SNOGGING! NOW! Stop that stupid prank!"

"Well...um...Before you die, James, we wanted to tell you something... That wasn't a prank, really..."

"You...you..."

"Well, maybe it's not the right moment but we really wanted you to know and... There might be no more moments, so... We're engaged! It's really serious... Sirius and me, of course! We've been in love since first year and now we think you should at least know before you..."

"Moony, cut it short. He can't hear you anymore!"

"Well... At least, now that he fainted it'll be a lot easier to stop him from committing suicide..."

"He'll kill us when he wakes up!"

"He won't! He'll kill Snivellus instead... We just have to blame that git for everything!"

"I love you Moony!"

"And I love you, Pads... D'you think it'll be any easier to tell Peter?"

"Yeah. He probably die out of shock immediately."

"You might be right with that... Well, he'll find out soon enough!"

END

Authors note: HAVEN'T YOU HEARD ME? I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE BLOODY E N D OF THE STORY!SO STOP SNOGGING YOU TWO! YOU'D BETTER GO AND GET JAMES TO THE HOSPITAL WING NOW!

sigh+ I know that it's useless... But I had to try, hadn't I?

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_Okay, what do you think? Please, tell me! Hope you enjoyed it at least a bit... _


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